What Does "Follow The Child" Mean?

“‘Follow the child’ does not mean let the child do what he wants. It is simply an acknowledgment that the child has his or her own pattern – that we need to take into account where the child is at, rather than impose our idea of what the child should learn now.” -- Rising Star Montessori

You will often here Montessorians talk about following the child. But what does that mean? It can often be confused that Montessori methodology allows the child to do whatever he wants. But this is not the case. Rather, it is a thoughtful way towards helping the child develop himself within the guidelines we adults set as the boundaries of society.

Human development is vastly different from that of other mammals.  While most mammals can walk and socially interact within minutes of their birth, the human mammal is completely dependent upon his caregivers for everything.  This phase of dependency is unusually long and unique to our species. The delay in maturation of physical development allows the human brain to make connections and develop pathways that ultimately lead to our ability to excel as a species.  Dr. Montessori observed that this period of time was one of great psychological and spiritual development, during which the child is dramatically able to absorb information and begin to categorize it.  Children are pre-wired to learn and hard-wired with the desire to do so.  It is imperative to the survival of our species that we be able to do this.  And so, from birth throughout childhood, children are doing an innate job, they are working on creating themselves.  Sensitive periods, triggered by and visible through interest, allow the child to focus on specific areas of development and create neuro-pathways in the brain dedicated to these abilities.  Children are developing a psychological self through sensations, impressions, and experiences.  The child’s reality is that he must learn; rather than be given information, he needs the support to explore his environment in order to actively acquire information and practice his skills.  The child’s own temperament and unique interests are what allow him to develop into a unique individual.

Given that children are hard-wired to learn, it can be understood that we do not need to force them to do so.  We do not need to choose what they learn or who they will become: they are already making those choices.  The role of the parent and the teacher is to guide this innate learning process through supporting the child’s interests while keeping the child safe.  It is through this guidance that we nurture the desire to learn and help children develop into confident, peaceful, and successful adults.  The way to achieve this guidance is to “follow” the child.  If we consider that the child’s interests create a map for their learning needs, then it is by paying attention to those interests that we can find ways to encourage that learning.  The same is true for the opposite: if we ignore or belittle those interests, we can guide the child away from his natural process and ultimately, reduce his desire to learn.

Following your child is simply a result of observing what peaks your child’s interests. This does not mean that you give your child whatever he wants or let your child do whatever he wants.  Rather, it means that you become aware of what intrigues your child and find safe ways to allow your child to explore that interest.  For example, perhaps your child is attracted to a sharp knife.  A parent’s natural instinct might be to take that knife away, and this is an appropriate instinct.  However, how you take the knife away can be the difference between encouraging your child to learn and discouraging your child from following their innate sense of learning.  If you say “no,” and take the knife away leaving your child to redirect is own interests, you make the statement to your child that his interests are bad and he may become insecure in following those interests.  You also miss the opportunity to teach your child about safety.  On the other hand, you can take the knife away and explain to your child that this is not safe, pointing out that the sharp edge can cut.  Your child has learned a valuable lesson and has the opportunity to avoid unsafe objects in the future.  In the mean time, if you notice what attracted your child to the knife or ask him what they wanted to do with the knife, you can easily help him find a replacement that allows them to continue following his interest and developing his skills.  For example, if he is very young and just likes the shiny nature of the object, you can help him find a safer, shiny object.  If he is older and wishes to cut something, you can find out what he would like to cut and find a safer tool for this (such as scissors or a dull knife).  Observing what your child is trying to do and helping them attain their goals is what children need to help them securely create themselves.  Children who can trust their interests and pursue them become adults who make decisions, trust their instincts, and are confident in their pursuit of goals.