A Happy Child? The Process of Normalization

IS MY CHILD HAPPY AT SCHOOL?

This is the question on the mind of most parents, and it is a fair question.  In the school environment the child has experiences that parents are not aware of.  Often, the only information comes from a very young child who is still developing the ability to remember and communicate.  Some children express their happiness in their desire to go to school and that question is easily answered.  Other children show signs of sadness and it's hard to interpret their experiences.  Usually these children dislike the separation process and it's that sadness they are expressing.  Others may be expressing different frustrations that they do not yet have the words to communicate.  With all of these different scenarios and different emotions, how can we know if a child is happy?

The truth is, "happiness" is a loaded term.  Happiness, by definition, is a state of well-being.  A child may, overall, experience happiness, but within that experience they will also express a range of emotions.  A generally happy child can still cry or express anger because those are expressions of normal emotions.  

In the Montessori environment, having faith in the process means having faith in a concept called normalization.  Dr. Montessori often uses the term "normal," but she did not mean what we think of today when we hear that word (being like everyone else).  Instead, she found that children who engaged in meaningful activity went through a process of finding inner peace and entering a state of well being.  Borrowing from the field of anthropology, she used the term to mean becoming a contributing member of society.  She intended that people would realize that the outcomes she observed through the normalization process are possible for all children and not just a special few.  She found that "the children in our schools have proved to us that their real wish is to be always at work - a thing never before suspected, just as no one had ever before noticed the child's power of choosing his work spontaneously....Following an inner guide, the children busied themselves with something (different for each) which gave them serenity and joy."

As children begin to settle into activities in the classroom, they begin to engage with their own abilities and learn to follow their own instincts.  They develop skills that lead to independence which creates a sense of accomplishment and joy.  Through the act of concentrating and learning what drives them, they develop confidence and begin to have faith in themselves.   Dr. Montessori wrote: "The first essential for the child's development is concentration.  The child who concentrates is immensely happy."  


Four characteristics signal that the process of normalization is happening: love of work, concentration, self-discipline, and sociability.  Dr. Montessori wrote: "All four characteristics must be present for us to say that a normalized type common to the whole of mankind is appearing—no matter how brief the appearance of the characteristics. The process is usually invisible to us because the process of normalization is hidden by characteristics not proper to the child"  (The Absorbent Mind, p. 202).  This is the process of normalization, and it is through this process that Montessori children not only develop to their fullest potential, but become positive and driving forces in the world.

So, is your child happy?  

Perhaps the better question is: is your child normalizing?  Is your child developing skills of independence?  Is your child showing signs of confidence and taking on new tasks?  Is your child developing the ability to concentrate for longer periods of time?  It is these traits that will lead to a lifetime of happiness and security.  These are the outcomes that we aim for in the Montessori environment.  It is through looking for evidence of these outcomes that parents can begin to develop faith in the process and comfort in their child's experiences.