"Separation is a process whereby an individual
learns to recognize him or herself as separate from
others. Because we have a genetic bias to form
secure attachments, separation anxiety is an
instinctive human response.”
- Marie Conti
The beginning of the school year is a very transitional time for young children. Some children may respond with tears, others may show sadness, while others bound out of the car with smiles on their faces. Every child has his or her own way of dealing with separation, and there is no wrong way. It is normal to experience sadness or anxiety at the experience of separation and even more normal to express those emotions any way they know how. Even if your child was thrilled with the newfound exploration during September, October may be bringing new emotions as the novelty wears off. This too is normal and not necessarily reflective of your child's experience at school, but your child's emotions about separation.
Understanding separation anxiety as a natural process and finding strategies to help that process along can make a huge impact on helping our children (and ourselves) separate. Marie Conti, M.Ed., has 30 years of experience as a Montessori parent, teacher, teacher educator, teacher education program director, school administrator, and regional group leader. The following link shares her thoughts on separation and how to make the transition smoother, printed in Montessori International:
http://montessorihouseforchildren.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/CopingWithSeparation.pdf
This transitional time isn't just hard on children; it's hard on parents. And how the transition affects parents can also have implications for how the child experiences separation. The connection runs deep and the experience of separation is part of the special relationship between parent and child. There is no right or wrong way of dealing; we can only realize that we must deal with these emotions and do our best to make the transition as smooth as possible.
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