Grace and Courtesy: Modeling Social Behaviors

In the Montessori classroom, Grace and Courtesy lessons are a continuous part of the curriculum.  These lessons encourage the children to become aware and mindful of what they are doing in the classroom.  For example, the child may say "I am closing the door quietly" or "I am walking slowly in the classroom."  We give these lessons by showing children step by step how to handle social behaviors for the first time.  While children learn so much from their environment, have appropriate social behaviors demonstrated makes social learning much more concrete for children.  As adults, we must also remember that children socially echo our own behaviors, so we must always be modeling the things we want children to do at all times.

Everyday kindness and courtesy are vital practical life skills and an important part of social learning.  Lessons in Grace and Courtesy teach everyday social customs, such as how to enter a room, not to disturb another’s work, how to ask if you may join in an activity, how to graciously decline an invitation, table manners, and how to offer an apology.

"We must help the child to act for himself, will for himself, think for himself; this is the art of those who aspire to serve the spirit. It is the [adult]'s joy to welcome the manifestation of the spirit." –Maria Montessori

Examples of Grace and Courtesy Lessons for Children:

Toddler

Eating Habits
• Using a fork and spoon correctly
• Chewing food with mouth closed
• Sitting quietly in chair during a meal

Toilet Training
• How and when to go to the bathroom

Proper Hygiene
• How to wash hands
• How to blow your nose

Manners
• How to say "please" and "thank you"

Primary

Social Skills
• How to greet people
• How to shake hands when greeting someone
• How to resolve conflicts (take turns when talking, express emotions, problem solve together, make amends for hurting/upsetting someone)
• How to help a younger friend/sibling

Proper Hygiene
• How to wash hands
• How to blow your nose

Manners
• How to excuse oneself when walking in front of someone
• How to interrupt when necessary
• How to hand objects to another person, especially sharps objects like scissors and knives
• How to say "please" and "thank you"
• How to clean up a spill
• How to open and close a door quietly
• How to pick up and carry a chair

Elementary

Social Skills
• How to work with another person
• How to resolve conflict (take turns when talking, express emotions, problem solve together, make amends for hurting/upsetting someone)
• How to mediate between friends
• How to help a younger friend/sibling

Manners
• Writing a thank you note
• Speaking politely to friends, family and teachers
• Being kind to others

Environment
• How to care for plants and animals
• Setting up a table for a meal
• How to clean and straighten a classroom or home
• How to serve in the community